July 28, 2008

Oh The Horror!!!

As a DSL tech, even a PC tech for that matter, I have heard some weird stories in my day. I really knew there some good catches in the sea,but since i've started my current position, i've found some new one.

Some of the better ones are the people who claim to be tech's. yet they can't tell the difference between a PC and a DSL modem. When asked what type of modem they have, i hear:

Customer: It's a Dell Dimension.
Me: no sir that's your PC. Whats the box we sent you?
Customer: I'm telling you, it's a Dell Dimension.
Me: Okay sir, let's do this. Do you have a real small box with 4 lights on and 3 cables in the back?
Customer: Yes
Me: Okay, whats that say?
Customer: Dell Dimension.
Me: ...

Very informative tech we have here. I wonder if he knows what a condom is because some people should not breed. And before you jump on me, this guy wasn't no more then in his mid to late 20's.

How about Area 51? It's an alien refuge is it not? Apparently one lady thinks so. She calls in once or twice a month. Apparently "They" are hacking her PC. Seems Roddy Pipers aliens have come to the tech age.

Throughout the call, she keeps insiting "THEY" are trying to get her. Who's they i ask? Them. I know it's them is her reply every time. So to be comical, i ask her what she does normally when "THEY" try to get into her PC.

You ready?

Are you sure?

"I turn off my monitor."

Um, why do you turn off your monitor maam? Because with it off "THEY" can't get in.

Oooookay, if i remember correctly, Kmart is having a Blue Light Special on tin foil hats in isle 3. You might want to go pick one up.

Then there's always that one. you know, the guy or the lady who knows abosultley NOTHING!!! When you ask them a question, they just sit there is silent. You can hear the deepest fathoms of the sea on the other end of the call. When you repeat yourself, they act supprised. Like they've never heard you.

Wake up people. This isn't rocket science you know. Well maybe to some it is. But still. Pushing the power button on your PC to turn it on takes less energy then it does to blink your eyes.

How about this one.
Me: Sir, you see that little white arrow on your screen?
Customer: yes
Me: When you move your mouse, does the little arrow move too?
Customer: I don't know i can't see it.
Me: What do you mean you can't see it?
Customer: When i move this mouse across the screen i can't see the arrow.

** "light goes on in my head, head proceeds to bounce of desk, hand reaches for drawer, hand pulls out bottle of excedrin..."

Me: Sir, are you putting your mouse "Physically on your monitor?"
Customer: Yes. How else am i supposed to move it around?

Please, i kid you not. I know at least 4 other people, not including me, who have talked to people like this.

I love my job. But there needs to be a national exam to take when you operate a PC. At least learn the very, very basics. I mean you have to take a 15-20hr class lecture to get your drivers license. Why not one for PC operation?



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