January 25, 2012

Annie Oakley Before the Matrix

So during dinner break, I was talking with another employee and the security guard. Not sure what started the conversation, but it ended up on the beatings we used to get as kids.

Anyway, here's my story.

Back in the late 70's to mid 80's a lot of woman would wear those wooden Dr Scholl's sandal. You know, the ones with the wooden bottoms and leather foot straps. Between my mom and my aunt, they were like Annie Oakley with those things. Now my cousins and I used to get spanked a lot. And i mean a lot. And a good majority of the time was with these sandals.

Now, where's does Annie Oakley fit into this picture? Well, the house we lived in had a long hallway on one side where all the bedrooms were. The other side was the other rooms. Now this hallway was about 40' in length and had 3 ways to go from the bedroom side to the other rooms.

There were more times then not, when one of us would do something and try running away. All the time knowing that one of those sandals was headed our way.  There were quite a few times, we would run down through the dinning room, into the living room, cut across the hall and into one of the bedrooms. Mostly mine.

Well they got the gist of it. And soon, by time we stepped foot into the hall, the shoe was already in mid flight, target locked on. And no more then a step or two into the hallway, the shoe found it's mark on our legs or foot, knocking us down.

We would look up and they would be standing there with both hands on hip. Then they would pull the second one out of their holster and start toward us. We learned fast, DON'T MOVE. Because if you did, it was something out of the Larry Bird, Michael Jordan commercials. That second shoe would go out the window, around the house, through one room, duck the lamp, down the hallway and find our asses AGAIN!

Now, as time went on and we got our spankings, we had gotten better at ducking and dodging those shoes. We had the matrix down before the matrix was cool.

I'm not sure if we got that good or if we just tired out their arms. Because soon the shoes started to disappear for other weapons of spank destruction.

In the end, we probably got some beatings we didn't deserve. Then we got some that even the Pope would have said we needed. I can look back and smile and laugh now. However, when ever I go to NY for vacation to visit, i swear out of the corner of my eyes, I seem them take the Annie Oakley stance before i get to the door as I leave.
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