February 22, 2012

Music and Reflections

Been in and out of it for most of the day. Slept for a good portion of it. And the pain from the extraction is minimal now. But I'm so tired.

Back in high school when ever i was depressed or not myself, I would always play Floyd's The Wall. For some odd reason, the album always cheered me up. While everything else would drive me deeper. 

So I loaded the album in Google Music and posted something writing on my other blog and just have been sitting here listening to the the music. I started to recall all the bullshit I've gone through in my life.  Always on the outside looking in.

For the most part, people say when your bullied all the time when your a kid, you tend to turn out like those that bullied you. Yes, I may have violent thought at times. But never once acted out on them. More or less, releasing the anger from with in. I think I've spent the better part of my life, protecting those or at least trying to, that grew up like I did. Be it directly or indirectly.

I guess now the time in my life has come, that though, I still feel the need to protect or help others, I need to think more about myself. Guess since I've done so much for others with out asking for anything, I've been looking for a little bit of acceptance.

Whether it's sharing my idea's and thoughts, my knowledge or working hard. I'm kind of tired of popularity contests and second guesses. I will always share what I have. But now I think it's time for me to really think about me.  Just tired of being black and blue inside. 

So with that, I'm going to bed. Regardless of sleep or not.







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