May 30, 2012

Back To The Three C's

WARNING: This is a rant and I will be speaking what's on my mind. So if you're easily offended, leave now.



We as a general society have become lazy and inept to do basic functions. It seems, the moral's and hard work of our grandparents has all gone to waste. What was one hard work and dedication to make a living and make better lives for ourselves has become nothing more then a flash in the pan, wanting everything or free and without working for it. At the cost of abusing others in the process.

Of what do I speak of? Well, the next time you our and about, do some people watching. Listen, pay attention and you'll know exactly what I mean. You, yourself maybe even guilty as charged. And yet, you may not know it, or you know it and don't care.

I've been a big leader on the Three C's, (Common Sense, Common Courtesy and Common Decency) for a long time. It's something I've spoken of and written about in the past. The more I look at the wide eyed world of today's society, those things don't seem to exist anymore. And trying to keep them a reality, seems like fighting a loosing battle. And it's us we have to blame. not just us as an individual, but us as a society, corporations, elected officials. The list  goes on and on.

Perfect example: At work, my department has started taking calls to support the IPTV services we offer. Which is normally handled by an outsource center. There is failure all the way around on this. Both on our side as well as the customer side.

Our side for example, they trained my dept using outdated material. In hopes that we wouldn't catch on. However, we did, brought it up and are fighting to get it all fixed. We were told, they want "Super Techs." The ability to work all the services we offer from one tech. Yet, the pay, the training and documentation is lacking in more ways then one. When you have very well qualified technical people, who have been with the company for 5+ years wanting to now walk out, somethings wrong.

It's not a bad thing to do some extra work from time to time. But if I have to do the work of five different departments, and in the course of five years, have earned a total of $2.33 in raises, while the board and CEO make millions? When I am told one thing, and the total opposite happens leaving me in a bind, unable or unclear how to proceed on doing the job effectively and efficiently? Not only do I loose out, but my customer looses out as well. And it makes not only me look bad (which I hate), but it makes the company look bad.

When you know the product you're selling doesn't work as advertised, and your employees are not trained to full capacity, forcing your customers to be bounced around, you take the chance on loosing your customers. Thus costing you more money in the end then it did in the beginning. And due to this, you start making more cuts and in the end, while you as a board member or CEO still rake in the millions, you take it away from your employees.

If corporations played into the Three C's, a lot would change. And it would change for the better. Take Facebook as an example. Their whole IPO, it's inflation, it's loss, all based on greed. No Common Sense there. If there was, they wouldn't be loosing money on the IPO, they would be making money. They wouldn't have as many lawsuits on them now as they do.



Now, let's get to the real matter of this rant. Us as a consumer, user and all around general public. Open your damn eyes and pay attention! Life is hard, but it's not rocket science.

Perfect example, and again, this goes back to what I am doing at work. It's Common Sense, that when using a TV remote, you push the Up/Down channel buttons to change the channel. You push the guide button to bring up the cable guide to see what's on and the power button is used to turn the device off.

If you have had the service for any length of time, be it our service, Time Warner cable, Comcast or any other cab;e service, it's all the same. Yes, the listing line up will change. But the remote does the same damn thing. It might be yellow or black. it might be grey and green. But the buttons do the EXACT SAME SHIT.

So if you call and ask me how to get the guide up, and i can see you've had our service for more then six months, I'm bound to get a little crabby with you. If you call and ask how to change the channel and you've had the service for more then six months, I'm bound to want to bitch slap you.

See people, just because technology has changed, doesn't mean the process has. You still turn the devices on the same way. You still put the key in the car ignition and turn it like you did 30 years ago. You still check the oil the same way you did 30 years ago. The only difference is, the technology change to make the car safer then it was 30 years ago.

When you switch services, DO NOT expect the service with another company to be identical with the one you just left. It never happens. Never has happened. That's why you switched insurance companies. The new one offered better deals, but didn't have a few things your other one did.

So because you don't have a Western TV channel, that's no reason to up in arms. Because there is no Soapnet, it's no reason to cancel. If your entire life revolves around watching soaps all day, go read a fucking book. You might get something out of it.

Also, if you break something, don't expect your provider, insurance company or whomever to fix it. Your insurance company isn't going to fix your cd player in the car because you got pissed and snapped a cd off in it or your kid decided it was a good place to put his NERDS. Just like your cable provider isn't going to fix your TV because while you decided to move it, you broke the coax connector on the back, so now you no longer can get service to that TV. That is not our fault, so there is no reason to bitch and complain because the "our service" isn't working.

Take some damn time to learn how to use the gadgets, products and features of what ever it is you have. If more people took the time to learn and understand, instead of looking for the easy way out of things, we as a society would grow much stronger. This includes both sexes, all races and all generations.

Because the next time I go to the store and your bitching because Customer Service won't take back the gas powered weed eater you bought, stating it never work from the beginning, and you hand the lady a bag full of nuts, bolts and springs, telling her you thought you could make it work so you took it apart? And now you want a full refund, I'm just going to end up in jail because I will knock your ass out.

And the next time your kid starts using curse words at employees because they are out of the Happy Meal toy they wanted and they are only 7-8 years of age, and you stand there and do nothing but encourage the kid, I will knock you out and spank your damn kid.

It's time to wake up and start acting like people who want to move forward.





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May 28, 2012

Memorial Day

I was in the Army from 93-97. Learned a lot, met a lot of great people and met a lot of assholes. But, it wasn't until I got out and got back home, that I really understood.

I had my reasons for joining the military, and at the time, none of them had to do with pride. It wasn't until I made a trip to the Legion, a town over, that I had witnessed what I would recall history.

On the octagon monument out front, were the names of all the soldiers from the town that had served in the armed forces going all the back to the Revolution. And a majority of those names were family members. Including those in the Revolutionary War.

I was stunned? A little speechless. As the Legion has always stood in front of the town park, not once as a kid did I ever pay attention to the monument. My goal as a kid was to get to the playground, play and get home by time the street lights came on.

As I went inside, dressed in my Class A uniform, I met with a lot of other soldiers from various branches, all dressed to the hilt. It was 7am, it was breakfast. The old men, some whom I knew, were telling war stories and others were just listening. See, today was Memorial Day. And I had been asked by a friend of the family, who had also served in the Army to come down and march in the parade. But more importantly, they were shy one person for the trips to the local cemetery's. So I had agreed.

Most of these men were family or friends of the family. But there were also a handful I didn't recognize. And it was one of those men, who at first, I caught giving me "the look." But when he caught a glimpse of the jump wings on my chest, he grinned and motioned for me to sit next to him. He had to be in his late 50's, early 60's (i can't quite recall though). His name was Raymond. And he had served in WWII in the 101st. We had a long talk, and though he was old enough to be my grandfather, the look in his eye was that of respect. And he had the respect in return.

After breakfast, we had all gotten into our vehicles and followed the lead car. Now, growing up in this town and area all my life, I knew where all the cemeteries were. And it was our job on this day, to go to each, and salute our fallen brothers and sisters. Well, i thought I knew where they all were. There were some buried in the hillsides that were almost long and forgotten. And those few, the stones were nothing more then soldiers. Not one civilian was buried there that I could tell. So we had our prayer service at each one, followed by a 21 gun salute. After the last cemetery, we made it back to the Legion to prepare for the parade. This was now a ritual for the next few years.

At times, I consider myself luck. As I never saw combat. Yet at the same time, I consider myself unlucky, because for those who have, I don't know what they've gone through.

Back in 95', half of my battalion went to Panama, the rest stayed home. This would have been the only chance I would have gotten to experience anything in the field. As of 2004, the battalion was deactivated and reassigned to the 1st Squadron, 75th Cavalry Regiment.

But after my first meeting with Raymond, I had come to respect all my brothers and sisters. It's not just on two days a year, but everyday. I just wish my family had taught me about it when I was younger, instead of just having BBQ's, family fights, etc. And I wish more kids knew what it's about.

So to all those that have served, thank you.
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May 13, 2012

Reflections

People deal with things a lot differently then the others around them. Whether its joking at a funeral or the loss of a loved one, or hiding their true emotions, people have different ways to deal with their inner self. And it wasn't until this weekend that I realized, I had lost faith, belief and love in myself.

As I was standing in the shower this evening, I broke down for the second time this weekend and I started to cry. I  have been so lost and confused for the better part of this last year and a half, that it all finally came crashing down on me. And for the first time in a very very long time, I felt as though I were drowning inside.

Every once in awhile, a person comes along into your life and you connect. You become great friends. You laugh together, you cry together and you get through the thick and thin together. This, had happened to me not to long ago. But be it, in the real world or on the internet, people are real regardless of whether or not you can see their face as we all have true feelings, this person came to me through the internet.

The more this person and I had communicated, we had "clicked." This person helped me through a lot of rough times, internal struggles and more. But during this time, I had failed. I had failed myself. I had failed to realize what I was and who I was. And in the end, it was this person whom I failed most of all.

You see, as we go through life, we all experience different things. Some good, some bad and some that have lasting effects on us. We all learn to cope with these things in our own way. My way was to always hide. What I mean by that is, to hide from myself. And there has been a lot going on personally, work and at home that has just built up over time. And I was hiding from it. Only to talk to this person to find comfort.

I was never one to talk to someone to discuss my feelings or emotions. Especially to those involved. Over the years, I've opened up and started to do what I had hid from for so many years. Though I am still struggling to express to those involved.

This weekend when it all came crashing in one me, I had told this person I could no longer have this friendship.  Reason being, I failed. I was lying to myself. I was manipulating myself into believing something was happening, though it was not. And I feel it was because I could trust and confide such deep personal emotions into this person. I was hurting myself inside, that I could no longer take it.

After the events, I had realized I just made an even bigger mistake. I just now, truly fucked up. As I got out of the shower this evening, I wiped the steam from the mirror and stared into my reflection. I watched as my tears rolled down my cheeks. And I saw an emptiness, I had never seen before in my eyes. And I wondered if I could ever restore what had just been broken.

I have since apologized to this person. Whether or not this person gives me a second chance, that's up to them. And I fully understand if they don't.  But I know now, that I need to work on me. I need to restore the faith I once had in myself. I need to start loving me again. Once I can do that, then I know I will be a better person as I once was.  The person that would give and never ask for anything in return. The person that would offer a helping hand just because I could.

I'm posting this publicly because like a lot of other real world issues, such as drug addiction, alcoholism, you have to take the first step and admit. Though this is nothing as harsh as the aforementioned ,  I still need to admit, I need to start in believing in myself again.

Just like everyone else, I deal with things the way I know how to. But now it's time to learn a new way of dealing. But I cried enough today, more so then I cried when my grandmother passed away just a few months ago, that I'm tired.

In the end, we cannot forget who we are and what makes us. For if we do, life becomes harder then what it needs to be. And innocent people get hurt.

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May 12, 2012

Farewell

I lost a good friend this weekend. A friend that was there for me as a voice of reason when I needed it. Problem is, it was all my fault. I was longing for something more then just friendship. But she wouldn't have it. There's a lot going on in my head right now and in the end, I told her I couldn't do it anymore. I just hope she forgives me. And we can still be friends.
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Offer


I cannot offer you the world.
I cannot offer you the moon.
I can offer you me.
I can offer you everything I am.
Can you take my offer?
Will you take my offer?

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May 9, 2012

Time For the Midlife Crisis?

It's been awhile since I put anything up. A lot has been going on. At times it almost seems like I'm a little crazy in the head. Though the niece has moved out of the house, the stress levels at work have picked up and taken her place.

I get to go see a Gastroenterologist today. Not sure what to expect, since I've heard all the horror stories. Maybe I could do a Google Hangout from the room? Might ease my tension a  bit.

With so much going on at work, no one really seems to know if they are coming or going. Which makes it hard. Because with the new training coming up, they are asking us to "dumb down." Which is as bad as asking us to lie to the customer when we know full well what's going on. But that's a longer story in and of itself.

Think it's time I go see a shrink. The way I've been feeling for the better part of a year, year and a half, It almost feels like some form of depression. Not wanting to do  anything, talk to anyone, no socializing. Just sit here and read, and veg. Not good. Not to mention other things going on in my head and life.

My insomnia is back at full force. So I'm not getting to sleep early enough at nights to make it up early enough to make it to the gym. I was feeling physically better when I was going. But since I am sleeping through my alarm, when I do get up, I may have about 30 minutes at best to get ready and leave for work.

Maybe it's just my midlife crisis?
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