December 30, 2013

A Personal Look Back

As this year comes to a close, it's time to look forward. Though I'm not one for resolutions, as no one ever keeps them, I do try to keep a set of small goals in mind.

This year has been rough for a lot of people I know. Some almost lost everything they own, some lost their lives. Other's lost their jobs, like me and are doing what they can to get back on track.

Got the news that my dad had to have massive back surgery and is struggling to get by. It's rough that I haven't been able to get up there to help out or see him. I haven't been back home since 2009. He's one to not sit around and do anything. So it's even rougher on him. Plus the fact that the nerve blocks haven't helped him at all. Nor are the meds really helping.

My stress levels hit a point that I went from anxiety attacks to full blown panic attacks. Something totally new to me and something that actually caused massive fear. But in the end, I feel the pain was worth it to a degree. As they say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. In this case, I would have to agree to that. As I no longer have a portion of my life that was causing that. I've moved on to a different aspect of my life, that seem to have bounties all around. Now it's time to seize them.

After about a month to two month hiatus, certain family members moved back into the house adding to stress levels. As their attitudes are venom. But my words and concerns seem to go unheard. If I wasn't such a nice person, (really I am), I would take the recordings I have and send them to DCF and see how they feel. And having to listen to it day in and day out makes me not want to be a really nice person. It's like nails on a chalk board.

I had a sort of falling out with someone very dear and close to me. It was months before we spoke again. Even now,  feel like I need to walk on egg shells once in awhile. But it feels good to have a friend back. As those are sorely lacking this day and age.

Above all though, I have had an excellent time with friends online. Have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people from all over the world. Some who have become dear to me. I was introduced to things I never would have known was out there. For that, I want to thank you all.

So I guess it's time to put this year in the books and start a new chapter. A chapter that I an hope to fill with adventure and intrigue.


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