January 27, 2014

Tongue Biting 101

So last night, I took the nieces little one to the Monster Jam. He likes monster trucks. So do I. Loud powerful machines, destruction, typical mans world. But we left just as they started, because he wanted to come home. So it was nothing more than a waste of money. Not to mention the $30 spent on trinkets. So in the end, it's too much to have to spend to pay off the credit card.

Then she is all boo fucking hoo, because the crack head of an ex boyfriend left her. AGAIN! She's been moping around, posting things on FB. Who fucking cares. Yeah, she is carrying his child. However, she needs to start to think. But I honestly think that's too difficult for her.

Not only did the guy steal from her two kids, and pawn the stuff for drug money. But he overdosed twice last year on that synthetic shit. But in the end, it's her mouth and her attitude that keeps her from finding good men. She keeps digging for the bottom of the barrel.

Tonight at the dinner table, I almost opened my mouth. But I didn't. Why, I don't know. I guess it's to keep me from really hurting people. The amount of shit that will come out, someones gonna have a stroke. Most likely me. Especially since i'm not taking my meds anymore because i have no insurance.

But I run the scenarios over and over in my head. It's more like a fail safe mechanism for me. Keeps me from actually saying things. I'm not one to hurt people. But damn. So tonight, i just got up away from the table and went back to the front room.

But, one of these days. I don't care who hears what, who thinks what. Who says what. Words will roll like a flooded river.


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